I am practicing vulnerability - To bare my soul to yours.
In today’s society the general norm is to skip over the down moments or challenges in our life and share with others the highlight reel. This creates two big problems. One - while we keep pretending everything is perfect we are making others feel like they are the only ones who face challenges. Two - we think we are the only one with challenges so we feel too embarrassed to share them, therefore we suffer alone!
Do you ever answer ‘good thanks’ when really you’re not?
Do you ever share with others the successes in your life but not the failures?
Do you share the best parts of your relationship, but not the reality that includes occasional arguments and frustration?
I personally suffer from committing crime number one and two and if you answered yes to any of the above questions you have done it too... I think most of us have. We can blame it on a number of things; social conditioning, fear of being judged, not being aware of our actions and their consequences. BUT now that we are all somewhat aware of our tendency to avoid vulnerability we can start to make a change.
So here goes one of my many attempts to increase the vulnerable acts in my life. I do this knowing I may get judged, I may lose friends and I may get laughed at but I could also gain one more friend who truly resinates with my story or help one more person to feel that they can speak up and be more themselves too.. and to me that’s worth the risk.
My life as a young teen was typically challenging, I went to an all-girl school and was bullied. This began the first of my problems... I suppressed all emotions and mastered the art of putting on a brave face. It was easier to cut off from all feelings, so that was what I did. I covered my soul in a layer of stone and decided life was easier that way. This way of life lead me into my late teens and from then on I struggled to make close friends and chose the wrong boyfriends (over and over because the ones who really liked me I couldn’t stand). I didn’t like myself so I couldn’t see how anyone else could. I also kept very little space in between break ups and finding the next boyfriend to ensure no feelings of missing someone could get in. It was in fact a break up which took me to my next method of acting tough. I decided to dabble in the bodybuilding world. I lifted heavy weights, put on muscle and endeavoured to make my outer look like my inner – tough. I had successes in bodybuilding shows and began coaching other girls to do the same. It was around this time I got sick, so sick I could barely leave my bed for months. I lived alone so was left alone with no distractions, just myself, my thoughts and time. Then one day while trying to slowly move from my bed it all hit me. I don’t know how it happened or what happened all I know is I realised I had to stop the suffering and become myself! For the sake of my own happiness and to lead the way for others.
In a nutshell, I realised;
T - The ultimate success is in finding self- love, and balance.
O- Our imperfections are what make us beautiful.
W- We should do the best we can, where we are, with what we have and be thankful for it.
T- The physical body is our temple therefore living a healthy lifestyle is an act of self-respect.
- Life is made up of universal connectivity - our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude towards us.
- A change to a positive life filled with heart and soul takes strength, will power and determination but it will be worth it.
I experienced what some call it an awakening. I call it my download moment for fun (because it felt like I was plugged into a computer and upgraded), everything clicked! The world made sense! Happiness made sense! I went from someone who wasn’t interested in anything spiritual or anything that involved true feelings to a whole new set of big picture beliefs. I realised that by working as a bikini model coach I was only contributing to the low self-esteem of these girls. I wanted to tell them how amazing and unique they all were, not that their thighs needed to be thinner!!
So I used my new found trust and courage and sold my business, opened a health and wellness centre and started changing lives for the better.
I changed my life for the better, I committed to myself, to my relationships, to health, to balance, to vulnerability, to living with love and I have never looked back. I have an amazing team of staff who all help to share the message of happiness from the inside out, each week I get to share and assist with my own life coaching clients, I have the best friendships being totally myself and I am engaged to my soul mate! I can honestly say now that I love my life and myself and I can’t wait to share more with you.
Disclaimer: That’s not to say there aren’t still hard times or sad moments but with this mindset I trust I can get through anything that comes my way! – Just keeping it vulnerable ;)
HOW TO START MEDITATING
If you are anything like me (or Elizabeth Gilbert - the woman behind the best seller Eat Pray Love, see video below) your first experience with meditation included you taking a seat on the floor with your legs crossed, (because that's what people seem to do in the pictures) wondering what to do with your hands and thinking why on earth people would want to sit in this uncomfortable position for any more than 2 minutes... didn't we get rid of sitting like this after the second grade!? You close your eyes only to discover you are now itchier than you have ever been and you suddenly remember all those jobs you were supposed to do yesterday which you put off to watch season 6 of Friends.
"okay, simply empty your mind." is where we all take a turn for the worse! Meditation is not the art of emptying the mind, it is the art of observing and focusing the mind. For me meditation is my time of coming into the present moment and observing my thoughts.
The different types of meditation are endless and different types will suit different people. These are the 3 types of meditation practices that work best for me. I have listed these from easiest to most difficult so you can gauge where will be the best level for you to start.
1. Guided Meditation
A guided meditation is a great place to start and gives busy minds something to focus on. I love a guided meditation before bed at the end of a busy day. A guided meditation can take you on a journey in which you may follow along imagining a scene, listen to the cues of affirmations or tune into specific relaxation techniques. You will be nothing short of amazed at the places your mind can take you, the revelations and the many experiences guided meditations can give you. You can find many guided meditations online or if you would rather some expert guidance and to be kept accountable join a meditation group. Guided meditation will give you some practice at focusing your thoughts and time off from the repetitive day to day thoughts we have buzzing around - a holiday for the mind!
2. Focused Meditation
Once you feel more comfortable being alone with your thoughts and you have greater control of your wandering mind, a focused meditation can be the next challenge. I use breathing as my focus. Place one hand on your stomach and focus all of your attention onto the rise and fall of your belly, as you exhale in and out. To help keep you accountable when starting out set yourself a time limit or a number of breaths you would like to achieve.
3, Observation Meditation
Be aware, at first to observe your thoughts can be challenging! To sit with thoughts can bring to the surface many hidden memories we have tried to suppress. For me this was a time of 'it gets worse before it gets better' but trust me it gets better! It becomes amazing! Meditation in this form is a journey of the self, to the self and through the self! I now use this time to ask myself the tough questions... Why is this on my mind, why is this bothering me, am I being realistic, what can I do about this, can I change the situation or do I need to change the way I think about it, what did I do well this week, what did I do not so well, how can I improve, how can I be kinder, how can I give more love??
Bottom line, do what feels most natural for you! Sit or lie in whatever position feels most comfortable for you, (where you won't be tempted to fall asleep) don't give up and most importantly, walk fearlessly through your thoughts and into the direction of the best version of you. You can do it! Meditation will change your life!
Namaste and good luck happy souls xx.
The different types of meditation are endless and different types will suit different people. These are the 3 types of meditation practices that work best for me. I have listed these from easiest to most difficult so you can gauge where will be the best level for you to start.
1. Guided Meditation
A guided meditation is a great place to start and gives busy minds something to focus on. I love a guided meditation before bed at the end of a busy day. A guided meditation can take you on a journey in which you may follow along imagining a scene, listen to the cues of affirmations or tune into specific relaxation techniques. You will be nothing short of amazed at the places your mind can take you, the revelations and the many experiences guided meditations can give you. You can find many guided meditations online or if you would rather some expert guidance and to be kept accountable join a meditation group. Guided meditation will give you some practice at focusing your thoughts and time off from the repetitive day to day thoughts we have buzzing around - a holiday for the mind!
2. Focused Meditation
Once you feel more comfortable being alone with your thoughts and you have greater control of your wandering mind, a focused meditation can be the next challenge. I use breathing as my focus. Place one hand on your stomach and focus all of your attention onto the rise and fall of your belly, as you exhale in and out. To help keep you accountable when starting out set yourself a time limit or a number of breaths you would like to achieve.
3, Observation Meditation
Be aware, at first to observe your thoughts can be challenging! To sit with thoughts can bring to the surface many hidden memories we have tried to suppress. For me this was a time of 'it gets worse before it gets better' but trust me it gets better! It becomes amazing! Meditation in this form is a journey of the self, to the self and through the self! I now use this time to ask myself the tough questions... Why is this on my mind, why is this bothering me, am I being realistic, what can I do about this, can I change the situation or do I need to change the way I think about it, what did I do well this week, what did I do not so well, how can I improve, how can I be kinder, how can I give more love??
Bottom line, do what feels most natural for you! Sit or lie in whatever position feels most comfortable for you, (where you won't be tempted to fall asleep) don't give up and most importantly, walk fearlessly through your thoughts and into the direction of the best version of you. You can do it! Meditation will change your life!
Namaste and good luck happy souls xx.
Would you like to become the best version of you? Join Grace at Inception Health and Wellness for one on one life coaching, group meditation or personal training.
Beautiful You, Passionate You, Healthy You seminar dates: Jan 31st & Feb 1st 2015 |
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